Wednesday 9th February - Mostly sleeping

I slept well but deeply my heart rate has been very low when asleep so much so that my alarms have had to be changed lower. The doctors have said that this is probably an effect of the infection but that equally this could be just part of my decline that my heart is getting weaker. :-(

I guess everyone expects me to be quiet, but I still don’t look myself again. Mummy sat with me all morning and watching me while Daddy went for a rest. She says to me that my eyes look sad. She says to me “Hey beautiful girl, where are the stars from your eyes? Where did the sparkle go?”

I’m so tired; I close my eyes again and drift into sleep. I sleep on my back and wake up on my side, I sleep on my side and wake up on my front, I sit in my chair and then I sleep in front of ‘In the night garden’, when I wake its been turned off as Mummy says it's its silly.

Annie called in to see me because she brought the hospital magazine here there is a little write up about me. My room was like a little shop today too as Mummy sold some purple necklaces now she has some here for anyone who would like to buy them.

When Daddy came so did Grandma she said she was going to sit with me while Mummy and Daddy went out for tea together. They didn’t go far and when they came back I’d been a good girl for Grandma. So she might stay again and maybe they could go and watch a big moving picture some time.

My heart rate slowed again at night and eventually they got it, I was chilly and hungry…Mummy sussed it out and negotiated with Emma the removal of my canula and I got to try some diluted milk and then she wrapped me up all snug in my yellow grow-bag.

Mummy keeps making hexagons and is turning them into flowers; after she turns them into flowers she is going to turn them into a blanket. Everyone keeps admiring the flowers as they are so colourful and pretty, they are made from things I have worn and got too big for. Mummy likes her sharp scissors and her hexagons; hopefully I won’t wake with shapes missing from my grow-bag!