How to get the best out of this blog...

All blogs post are more recent first, if you want to read about Ellie's Journey I'd suggest starting from the first post back in September 2011 (October Posts) and read on Chronologically from there. It will make more sense and you'll get to meet the little girl who gave my life purpose.
Thank You for reading - every new reader shows that she has met another person and in her short life made such an impact. x

Sunday, 13 December 2015

Christmas Time again...

It's been raining down there, I see it through the gaps in the clouds. Big squishy puddles and then the rainbows come. Mummy looks out for them. I watch her most mornings while she gets up and goes for walks with Lilly Dog around the field. She regularly looks up at the sky and takes pictures, I Wonder if maybe she looks for me, and although I know She can't see me i wave madly. I am in her skies. 
It looks to be Christmas time again, it seems to come so fast because Mummy met with Jackie and Roxy dog and went to the tree today, it's branches are bare of course because it's winter! But my birthday rbbons are still there and they placed a lovely Christmassy Wreath.
 I remember Christmas, the sparklingly lights in the hospital especially. I think I would have liked another Christmas on earth, it looks fun. Mummy asked lots of my earth friends to help decorate the Christmas Tree this year. It looks so pretty with glitter and sparkly sequinned handmade baubles and decorations. My favourite I think so far is one Kellan made, but Andrews snowflakes are fab too.
I'm sad that I don't get to spend Christmas on earth. I miss everyone. Xxxxx

Friday, 4 September 2015

Big Birthday

"So anyway, it's a special day today - it's my birthday! I'm 5. 

watched Mummy getting dressed this morning, She put on a purple bracelet. She looked at pictures of me on her phone and I saw her eyes leaking a little. And then she wished me happy birthday and kissed the screen. 
She bought some pretty purple flowers in a 5 shape that Alison Flowers made. Alison Flowers is so thoughtful, she added extra sparkle and feathers just for me. 
Mummy met up with Grandma and came to see my grave, I now live with Great Grandad And Great Nanna Roberts in Heaven.  My Grandma is just as bonkers as Great Grandma. I wish I'd been able to stay around to hug everyone and thank them for my birthday wishes. 
Penny arranged for some purple ribbons to go on my tree, which is getting bigger and bigger on earth, while I am getting bigger in heaven. Grandma Liz sent a card, so, I know she loves me and thinks of me still. As do many people I met on earth. 

Mummy bought a purple plant to put in a pot by the front door, it will die, because she always forgets to water outdoor plants in pots, but it's the thought that counts.
She also bought me a birthday cake, I could see she was torn between Frozen and Minions, I know Becca likes Frozen but Mummy is mad on Minions, and I think she picked the yummiest looking one. 
She will share it with some friends later.

I have started to go to school in Heaven, it's quite daunting but we seem to just still play a lot, I've been lucky because I get to go with some of my special Angel friends, like Sam, Charlie and Benjamin Joel, Jordan, Ginny and Emilia who's my best friend. 

I have a new pet in heaven, a beautiful Golden Retriever called Bracken came one day and ( I don't know if you know this but animals can talk in heaven too) she said that she had been told to come and find me because my Mummy was also her Human Mummy, so we were supposed to be together. Emily is still a bit scared of dogs. I still have to hold her hand when we stroke Bracken, but I think she prefers cats because she has made friends with a little tortoiseshell called Lucy, and a Ginger called  Jack. There are lots of other cats and dogs too, but these are our favourites! 

wanted to say thank you to all of you that look after Mummy, I know she is a very busy lady, always doing stuff for people, or painting things, or talking and eating cake, but you all keep her company, and then when you can't be there, I watch over her when she is lonely and sad. She isn't as sad as often as she used to be and I know that isn't because she doesn't love me anymore,  she is just getting used to our long distance relationship. I hope one day she won't be alone anymore because I want her very much to be really happy again.

Thank you to everyone who still remembers me and keeps me alive in your hearts."

💜 Little Miss Ellie 💜

Tuesday, 6 January 2015


I guess I haven't been here for a while. Has anything changed? I'm more guarded I guess - not prepared to share like once before. Unable to be as directly honest or place my heart upon my sleeve again. Perhaps that is the nature of grief, deception, mistrust, disillusionment.

The tree is growing -- this is it this September in case you haven't seen it.

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

2nd Birthday Day

Hi all, I promised a little update and while I wont bore you with the changes in my life three months on since losing baby Emily what I can do is let you know an update regarding Ellie's fundraising.

Today would have been Ellie's 2nd Birthday, not quite sure how it would have been celebrated if she were here, I'd probably be knee deep in cup cakes and jelly and 2 year olds screaming around my feet, but I'll get to do that on Sunday when my lovely friends' little girl becomes two.

Instead, my day started with a flurry of tears whilst pouring over some old baby pictures deciding which to chose as my Facebook profile for the day and of course, ones without nasal tubes are always preferable.
Then I treated myself to some lovely yellow roses before collecting my 'hospital chaperone' and arriving in the staff car park.

It was a little like returning home, to an old house from your childhood, things were the same but yet, different, some new faces, but mostly familiar faces, from cleaners to doctors, names kept flooding back to me.

The room had been made empty, although was currently in use, the sun streamed through the new purple blinds, no portacabins blocking the light from the window. That made me smile. The garden once finished would be a pretty sight from the window.

The plaque was placed, on the door and looks great - hopefully this will make other people think about doing something simialr in future, it was a nice low key affair and bit embarressing as everyone was staring at me!!

I departed soon after a coffee and a chat about the plans for the garden, which are delayed currently but hope to have news soon. We had a quick pub lunch before heading home to plant purple and white crocus bulbs under the tree and put the palque in the ground - finally. Im pretty pleased with how it looks.

Thanks today (and everyday) to Emma, Mum and Amy for being there to make a sad day a little more fun. xx