How to get the best out of this blog...

All blogs post are more recent first, if you want to read about Ellie's Journey I'd suggest starting from the first post back in September 2011 (October Posts) and read on Chronologically from there. It will make more sense and you'll get to meet the little girl who gave my life purpose.
Thank You for reading - every new reader shows that she has met another person and in her short life made such an impact. x

Thursday, 22 September 2011

Painting up the target...

For those of you who don't know Dan so well, in another life he used to run around fields with a gun, jumping over big blow up shapes putting paint bullets into people.( I'd like to state that at this juncture that it wasn't me that made him give it up, he has a bad shoulder ;-))
There is a big tournament this weekend in Matlock in Derbyshire where these kind folks are donating half of the players entry fee to Ellie's cause....huge thank you to Becky Childs for organising this. :-)

If you are interested please take a look....

Update nearly £400 raised on the day - huge thanks to everyone!!!!

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Nominated for Ellie...

I had a call to say that Dan and I had been nominated for a Local Citizen Award. What an odd feeling. Of course, there are lots of other people who have done amazing things but I guess none of us really think we should be awarded for it. The reporter at the Chronicle asked me why we did what we did.
I don't know. I think we started fundraising because we were so helpless in many other ways. We couldn't save our child she was going to die that was certain, so we would create a legacy so people would rememeber her.
So I guess it's very selfish what we did.
But the more I think about it, the days and nights we spent, living in that ward, through winter when the nurses were rushed off their feet and  the ward had to be closed because it reached full capacity. And thinking back to all the names on the board that were written on then wiped off while all the time Eleanor Prince remained in permanent marker it seemed.
I realise why we did it, to say Thank You. Because words on a card just aren't enough.
Our Girl x

So this nomination isn't just for us its for the ward.

Sunday, 4 September 2011

The 'Not' 1st Birthday

This is my favourite picture of our little girl. She just looks so perfect - it breaks my heart knowing I'll never see those beautiful eyelashes flutter. So, so sad that we cannot wish her a happy first birthday today .
Some people might wonder why I'm still writing this blog, it was after all always Ellie's story, Ellie's words, that's what people were interested in. Every time people have hinted that perhaps I should finish writing I wonder if it's something I would do for me or for them. Because, truly how many times can one person say, 'thinking of you', perhaps they are now bored, perhaps there is still the need to peak into our lives and see if we are getting on ok and I guess, to eventually see whether we find happiness once more. Who knows...but for me, this blog has been about surviving the most horrid thing in the world and the support I have received because of this is unmeasurable, so I guess it's worth putting your heart out on your sleeve because when people care, they really care.
So for now this blog deserves to continue, if not just for a little while, to satisfy me more than anything, to be able to look back and prove I WAS A MUM! And it was amazing, however brief, Eleanor Florence Prince changed my life forever when she was born, just never quite the way I expected, but even so, I have known real love because of her. And for that, I really am honoured.
We decided to send some purple birthday baloons up to the sky...we will do this on every birthday.

A little fruiting Crab Apple tree in our garden to celebrate Ellie's would have been first birthday. It fruit in September and should Flower in March

Friday, 2 September 2011

Taking a little time out....

Dan and I have spent a week Camping in our van, the good news is we are still married. The bad news is that we are home now and in two days time it will be Ellie's birthday. I have had moments while we were away of feeling waves of sadness wash all over me - one day by the sea it was so beautiful... met a couple with their little girl who was about three I guess. I spoke to the lady who said that her Dad had brought her to this spot some thirty years ago when she was little and she wanted to bring her daughter too. Then I longed...I longed to have my girl there, to show her this beautiful spot and for her to come here with her daughter in another thirty years. Gertie, our camper would if still alive(!) be nearly 70years old by then.....better look after her just day...maybe you never know....
Another day we met a lovely family with a bay camper just like Gertie, Dan ended up chatting away and Ellie came up in conversation. The father asked if we had a picture of her, it seemed such a rare moment, to be able to show someone a picture and be so say 'Hey look, it might just look like it's just the two of us here, but we were a family not so long ago....and look this was our beautiful girl. It was hard to talk about her but good to remember and for someone else to know about her and hopefully read her story.

When we got home today we had a nice surprise.

There was a knock on the door from a lovely lady called Wendy Graham, who is from our village and works at the local medical centre as part of a team of district nurses.
Along with coleagues, Kirsty Sewell-Threadgold, Magalie Prot and Carol Ashton have been very busy making cards, cakes and jewellery to raise Money for Ellie's fund. She gave us an envelope with £100 today which we will add to the fund.
Thank You so  much to those very kind ladies for following our girl's story and being so touched as to want to do something to show your support. The fundraising has come to an inevitable slow no, so it was lovely to recieve this 'birthday' present for Ellie.