How to get the best out of this blog...

All blogs post are more recent first, if you want to read about Ellie's Journey I'd suggest starting from the first post back in September 2011 (October Posts) and read on Chronologically from there. It will make more sense and you'll get to meet the little girl who gave my life purpose.
Thank You for reading - every new reader shows that she has met another person and in her short life made such an impact. x

Sunday, 11 December 2011

Christmas Tree, Oh! Christmas Tree...

The Christmas box came down from the loft, with a heave ho! and a thud onto to carpet, this year with two years of attic dust and starling feathers as it never saw the light of day last year. I noted that in Sharpie marker  'WE WERE HERE'graffitti, 2007 Dan and Lou, 2008 it was the two of our names added by Marlee, 2009 our 'family' grew and then there was Lilly and then 2010 - nothing. It was weird, that I'd started this three year pattern hoping, maybe expecting that bit by bit names would be added to that role of honour. You forget all the things in that box don't you? Good job I got it down before hitting the local garden centre else I'd be over run with Christmassy paraphenalia (yes people that is possible!) I like Christmas pretty neat, organised, cute and classic, reds whites, gingerbreads. I don't like tinsel, sorry, but I love fairy lights, they make the dullest room feel starry and magical.
I had ordered myself this really pretty ceramic angel back in June for this year, its only about 10cms in height but then the tree is a dinky this year, modest to co-incide with our dampened Christmas spirit, but special all the same as this potted tree was bought last year in the hope that our little girl would make it home to see it. She never got to see a real Chistmas tree, so sad that I never saw these lights reflected in those beautiful big eyes. So the pure fact that I have kept it alive all year and seen it grow a whole 1/2 a foot! I was thrilled to bring it into the house and decorate it with this particular angel decoration. Christmas may prove to be a particularly hard milestone but I'll carry on taking deep breaths and smile and work through it, one day at a time. 


  1. I know Ellie will look down from her fluffy cloud in heaven and love all the twinkly lights you have put up on that lovely big tree.

    Don't ever underestimate how truly amazing you are Lou. This post has really touched me<3 I was looking through some of the beautiful photos again, Ellie didn't need fairy lights, she had those beautiful big eyes that twinkled all by themselves xx

    Jax Xxx