So then by Sunday here we were finally back home.
I have made sure there is a picture of Ellie in every room, so I can see her when I want to. I had to go into the nursery, it had become a store room really and it seemed a long time since November, when she was last in her cot.
That night comes back to me all the time, the snow outside falling heavily and fast waiting for the ambulance and then those big muddy clumpy footprints on the cream carpet.
Bit by bit things left the nursery to keep her company in the ward and then came back boxed up when they had outgrown their purpose. The pram still looks like new, I never even used the rain cover, as if I would take her out in the rain?!
I sat in amongst a pile of her clothes and blankets desperately trying to smell her again but it was just washing powder. So I gently folded and put away each small sleep suit and outfit, remembering a time she would have worn them. I wont pretend this was easy. But its a process for me, tidying, sorting, the physical process helps the mental one I guess.
Most of her toys have gone now, Ellie and I had chatted at length about which toy should go to each of her little friends.Of course she agreed with me, everytime. Angelina Ballerina got to visit Singapore this month, she definitley made the big time.
Dan had wanted her room to be tidy, so that he could just sit there, when ever he felt the need and he popped his head in to look at what I'd done. But thats all he could manage.He started back at work.
Someone who hadn't kept up to date asked him 'How's the Baby' today. I'm glad I wasn't there but also sorry I couldn't have been for him.
I had an email from Sue at the Ward who handles all the offline donations towards Ellie's Fundraising. Cronkinson's Farm eventually got their Charity night together raising £623 which will go to putting a musical night light on all the babies cots! They also drew the Easter Raffle and the Cream Eggs which has been added to our total. I am so ecstatic that we have crept over £17,464!
At this point I have to say again huge THANK YOU's to everyone who is continuing to help us make a difference - the money being raised is phenomonal! And it isn't stopping!!
I'd like to mention two ladies in particular who have got separate justgiving sites raising money towards Ellie's plight, Claire Coombs has just hit £500 in donations and Karin Phelan is at £230. This is excellent work girls! Dan will need to step up the the challenge now!!