Monday 6th September

I don’t think Mummy slept very well because after a shower and a piece of toast she came to me all clean and fresh for cuddles at 6am for two hours wrapped closely to her chest.

I had been stable overnight. That was a god thing. She helped do my nappy for the first time and she was all fingers and thumbs with arms through the portholes. Delicately cleaning me with soft warm wet cotton wool. She did an excellent job even if she did cry all through it and shook. Kath was lovely and encouraged her so it was on and more importantly it was stuck and right.

I was really toasty and comfy when daddy came at 8am. They waited all morning before getting to see a doctor and that’s when they met Claire the registrar. She was softly spoken with a slight Liverpudlian accent, she was very clever and very reassuring. We also met my doctor today, Dr Burns is the Paedeatrician he has very kind eyes. He is concerned about me and says I am unusually floppy, in medical terms this is called hypertonia. I also have large fontanelles which are the soft spots around my skull. The doctors think I may have a syndrome or condition but they aren't sure because I am so small. I have to have blood squeezed out of my feet - I really don't like it and it makes me cry!

So then – what was going on?

They said I had caught an infection and they were giving me antibiotics to sort it out. They wanted me to stay in here until it had gone, that there would be no more mucus in my tummy. They also wanted to see me taking milk by myself before I could go home too. They also said that are some other issues they wanted to talk to Mummy and Daddy about but these things could wait until I got over my infection as they said they weren’t life threatening. I could still feel Mummy's heart sinking at the thought that something was really not right.

Mummy is finding it very hard to express milk, she goes into a little room with the big yellow pump and is away for ages, most of the time she comes back with a blotchy face. Sometimes Daddy will go and sit with her to keep her company. The nurses say that I only need the tiniest of milk so whatever she can manage is fine as I only need little amounts but I need it every two hours so she is tired.

There isn’t really anything Mummy or Daddy can do, but they sit by my bedside and watch the clock turning round and then every two hours it's time to check my bum and they take it in turns to gently clean me.

I have a small sore under my neck where there are extra folds of skin and my neck is floppy, they use a gentle powder on here to help to stop it being so red. Mummy also massages cream into my skin as I am still very wrinkly from being so late into this world.

At about four o'clock Grandma came to see me but the neonatal unit is very strict and because she came Daddy had to leave. Daddy doesn't like to be away from me for long. The nurse looking after me today is Noleen, she is very nice, she has soft brown eyes and is very gentle with me.

Mummy sat with me while Daddy spoke to the Consultant, they were worried that I was starting to look a little yellowy, it's called jaundice but they have decided that it's ok otherwise I would have to go under the funny blue light like Molly, the baby next to me.

Because I kept losing temperature the doctors decided to move me to a new glass home. It has lots of round portholes. Mummy and daddy stroke my head through the windows and they found it very tricky changing my nappies! I was weighed today, they also said that my sodium levels had dropped a little so they would need to keep on eye on me.
Mummy was moved into a side room in the Maternity Ward, this way she will be closer to me in the NeoNatal Unit, as she still isn't quite well enough to be discharged. The say she is suffering from anxiety, which she says is because she is so worried about me. But she also feels worried about Daddy having to go home and be alone with out us all and be so sad. She told Daddy that it made her so sad sleeping in a ward with all the Mummies and their healthy babies, or watching all the happy families going home.

I want all of us to be home together, not in different places. Its scary sleeping alone.

Mummy and Daddy sat with me after they had some tea, it was dark and there weren’t any other Mummies and Daddies around, Daddy took off his shirt so he could pick me up and cuddle me close to his furry chest. I slept against him as he is warm and snug.

The staff changeover at eight so they both had to leave because the nurses talk about all the babies and it's private. He decided to go home for a sleep and Mummy went to get checked by the Midwife because during my birth she had to have stitches which need to heal before she can go home. She wasn’t away long and she sat with me for hours until she started to get a sore neck bending over me and kissing me.

Nurse Lynn said that she would try and get me to suckle on a dummy with some sugary liquid, which I did a little and I saw Mummy's eyes light up when I did.

Lynn checked my tummy and for the first time it had no blood and just a yellowy liquid, she said this was good and that finally I was starting to fight this bug. She said it would be good to try and start me on some milk soon, especially as Mummy has been trying so hard to make some.

Although everyone keeps saying I have 'floppy' arms they do move and I keep pulling this drip out of my hand, my 'unturned' feet also keep kicking out the wires off the monitor sensors. This scares Mummy though because when it doesn’t pick anything up It beeps really loudly.

Lynn said I looked much brighter today. Mummy smiled.